So, it appears that a great many parents have this obsession with sacrificing their lives for their children and especially girls. Too many parents leave their own fantasies, forsaking all their own needs in an effort to make certain that their kids have a “better” life then they have had. But, I say that if your kids want a better life, but they define better, that really, it’s up to them to reach it!
Did You Know?
Among the biggest causes of stress is the focusing on future and past. Our society has done a masterful job in convincing its adult citizens the upcoming generation’s success or failure is dependent entirely on the sacrifices which they (the adults) create or don’t make for their kids. To put it differently, the adults of today are in a constant state of fear, worry and worry about how their kids will fare in the long term.
Your kids are born with the exact same intelligence that you’re. For millennia, kids have been finding their way to adulthood, yes, some by means of “severe” trials and tribulations, but most find their way with minimal fanfare. Needless to say, they’re entering new territory and because of this may feel apprehensive. However, it’s the facing of the apprehension not the running out of it which leads to real growth, real adulthood.
Keep in mind
Now, I’m by no means saying not to assist your kids. What I am saying is that at a certain age (often 18 in the USA), a child should have established or been assisted in establishing a good base on which to build their own future. 8). The number 9 is called the amount that represents perfection and totally. This does not indicate that your kid is a perfected being at age eighteen. However, it does mean that your child has reached a state of maturity (in mind, body and soul ) where their tools are honed enough that they can start building the life that they desire to live.
We retard our children’s development when we, by way of instance, deny them the chance to make decisions as they’re growing. And, the longer we do this the less willing they will feel and the more it takes for them to grow; therefore that, many kids find themselves well in their twenties and thirties and some even longer still not prepared or eager to graduate to self responsibility. If we as parents were wise, we would have been nudging our baby birds out of all along the way of the growth.
Doing this would have enabled them to create strong wings. Have you seen that children want independence? That while they might not be totally self-reliant, they’re self-willed, they want very much to do things by themselves, to walk independently, to dress themselves, to give you a piece of the mind when you invade their space or violate their intellect? Are not these the symptoms of a being that can and will in time meet their own desires? You need give up everything you need for them. Trust the universe or God instilled in them the same gifts of intellect and possible you were instilled in you.
It might be that you want your kids to transcend you and you will consciously or unconsciously feel that everything you’ve done without will somehow be transferred to your children, the world will say, OK parent, everything that you give up (the home of your dreams, the automobile of your dreams, the relationship of your dreams, the financing of your fantasies, etc), I will contribute to your child. But it’s not so. Each of us is accountable for fulfilling and creating our life’s routine, you yours and your children, theirs. And, I will tell you something else, of extreme significance, something you might discover astonishing and that something is that children aren’t victims of birth.
So often, I hear people saying that kids don’t ask to come here. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I’ve said this in other posts and it bears repeating, we aren’t physical beings. We’re spiritual being having physical experiences. There’s a spiritual or hidden realm. Everything exists in this domain before it manifest in the physical and human beings are the same. In summary, this means your children decided to leave the soul kingdom, to enter into this physical realm with a complete comprehension of who their parents will be and how their lives will unfold.
You should not need to forfeit your authentic self to your own children. Just since they’re alive doesn’t mean that you are supposed to become dead. Your life isn’t canceled out with their arrival. And contrary to what you may think, children don’t want their parents to be sacrificial lambs. They look to you for the indication they can be and have everything they desire. But should you sacrifice your whole life, even to them, then they will probably adopt your attitude, causing a cycle of catastrophe that leaves in its wake a heap of wasted potential. And moreover, how fantastic is it if you and your kids were fulfilling your fantasies together!
Now, that is a happy relationship!
- You have needs and wants.
- Happiness starts inward first then extends outward. You can not give externally what you don’t possess internally.
- You were created for a purpose other than to be at someone’s beck and call.
- If you do everything for your kids, they will never mature.
- If your kids don’t mature, they are liable to get into serious trouble.
- Your children aren’t victims of birth. They volunteered to come here.
- Your kids will one day leave you.
- If your kids are all to you, then what will you do when they leave?
- Your kids did not ask you nor do they want you to give up on your dreams.