What do Women Really Want?

View from the back of a girl in a hat sits on a hill and looks at air balloons in Cappadocia in Turkey.

Women go through many stages in their lives. Lest of that is a stage which seems to be increasingly more prevalent right across the western world now. That’s the point in their life when a range of events and circumstances appear to converge together. Some are natural & a few are levied, but no matter who they are, or where they are, they may experience some or all these things whether they would like to or not.

Baby Boomers and X Gen

This “converging” of events is definable and very important. In reality so significant that for many, the choices they make in this period may indeed influence the rest of their life. Currently the biggest group of people on the planet, would be the combined groups known as Baby Boomers and X Gen’s. Baby Boomers are people born after World War 2 & pay an 18 year period from 1946 until 1964 where 76 million babies were born at the U.S, over a Billion World wide. X Gen’s are people born between 1964 and 1976 that is 51 million individuals (considerably smaller than the boomer group but not the less a huge number). Meaning that boomers are aged between 57 & 75 and X Gen’s aged between 45 & 57 right now. Let’s say that roughly 50% of these are girls. That’s a great deal of people!

Women’s Phases

If we were to generalize about the civilization of the world and about popular accepted beliefs as this group of girls grew up, entered the workforce, got married, left the workforce, began families and then later re entered the workforce and how women saw themselves and how they fitted into society during this time. Then all these factors have led to the “Phase” in their own lives they (to a lesser or greater degree) might have gone or might be going though at the moment. So what’s this “Phase” and what are the changes that happen?

Back to Liberty

The kids, who you’ve loved & spent the last 16 to 20 years into looking after, eventually leave home. Or your kids are now teenagers or pre-teens.  You start to desire more from life. These events are not necessary connected other than that circumstance and age seem to converge at around the same period, and the psychological nature of these events have a Chris crossing influence on other occasions, with this very large group of girls. The Kids grow up and leave home. You might have been longing for or dreading this moment for quite a long time.

Finally can do what you would like to do. Finally you are getting back your liberty. Finally you can have a profession or pick up the one which you set aside to have children. Finally you can have your own money or may study, enjoy a sense of going somewhere where you feel like you belong, have a feeling of community, and do something you like. Finally you’re more than simply a Mum & a Wife. You may create a new and exciting identity. You feel lonely maybe even feels a real sense of loss, even a loss of purpose. Now you have a lot of time on your hands, to much time to think and live. Your mind plays games with your self confidence and self love as you consider the past as time goes on. Now’s not a good time, as everyone else around you seems to do significant things in interesting areas with different people, as you sit in your home.

Pre-menopause and Menopause

Menopause signals the end of the reproductive cycle for a female. Therefore, their body will go though natural hormonal changes which will influence how they sense how they cope and how they behave.

Pre-menopause frequently begins in the early 40’s but can start earlier. Where they might still be having periods but the symptoms of menopause such as hot flashes or night sweats, begin to occur. Research suggests that menopause may last until their mid 50’s and for a few, for the remainder of their life.

The condition can affect a women’s libido, it can produce mood swings sudden tears or tiredness. It may cause sleeplessness & night sweats that adds to their tiredness. It can result in memory loss, momentary confusion and a loss of concentration. It can create sudden nausea, weight gain, anxiety, depression, irritability and headaches. In addition to sore or aching joints muscles and joints. They begin to wonder “what If” what if I had stayed with my livelihood. What if I had traveled or I must have. Where would I be now? Is this all there is? Is this it? What now? Personally, I don’t know many girls that aren’t always giving themselves a hard time about their weight or other invisible blemishes that they can see.

Mid Life Awakening

Both Boomers and X Gen’s aren’t enjoying what era is doing to their bodies and are extremely interested in anything that will delay the aging procedure. When I say this, it is not because I feel that the first four will be the reason for divorce. I’m not saying that divorce is the women’s fault. Divorce in this stage of life has as much to do with their spouse’s mental emotional and physical changes as it does to their spouse. For him or for her, their interests may have changed their values maybe different. Their needs within a relationship, what they need in a relationship might have changed. Who am I? What do I need? What have I achieved? Where am I going? A feeling of bitterness that they haven’t lived the life they realize they wish to live. If they don’t learn to support one another and communicate with one another during this time, then they might indeed wind up parting.

Often that parting isn’t done well or frankly. Often it’s not by mutual consent. Often it’s a complete shock to the person being abandoned; leaving them feeling bruised humiliated and abandoned by their spouse. All this may leave you feeling a bit sad, that is not my intention. For many women it’s a time of searching, a journey of discovery. It might feel as a mid life crisis but actually is a mid life awakening. Most intuitively know that it’s up to them to get the most from these even if they don’t yet know how. And at some point it dawns on them that they’ve been doing that their entire lives anyhow.

So once the guilt of leaving the pain of being abandoned starts to fade. Once the acceptance of this challenge starts to settle, what starts to blossom is a stronger more determined women who knows in her heart, that to do more than simply survive, to do more than just live day to day, she needs to trust her self, let go, learn and develop. What becomes very significant is their buddies their safety and their independence.

Need for Independance and Feeling Secure

As a generalization, for many women Baby Boomers they recognize that all the family’s finances were managed by their husbands. They realize that they might not know how to get a house arrange a mortgage or conduct home hold accounts let alone run a business or write a resume or how to manage a job Interview. But now they have to or need to. As a generalization, for many female X Gen’s, they might already be familiar with a lot of these elements but may still feel the tug of isolation that creeps up at night as they lay alone staring at the ceiling, worrying about their own ability to put food on the dining table & triumph.

What is clearly evident either due to crisis or due to desire, what these girls want is to be financially independent. Feel more confident. Be in more control of their own lives and their fate. They wish to find out more about the introduction of money, business, taxation, health, Wills and Trusts. How to set meaningful objectives. How to feel more confident. How to stand up for themselves. How to eliminate doubt and fear. How to let go of the past and break free from negative emotions. How to trust again; feel secure without compromising their independence. Stop feeling insecure destitute or guilty.