It happened so quickly I did not grasp the empty nest thing straight away and as soon as the change eventually dawned on me I felt like having taken the free fall from a 600 ft cliff and was waking up halfway down. Not considering landing in the water, still bewildered, scared, little by little understanding the situation and not prepared at all doing a suitable landing in the deep water.
You probably wonder what on earth I’m talking about, what change? Your children have grown up, safely and slowly, and the last one has just left home. The residence is quiet, you feel this empty nest you’ve heard about but never really knew what was. The children you have nourished and cared for nearly 15-20 years as a mother, aren’t attached to you the exact same way any more – that the shift feels almost as though they do not like, do not care about youpersonally, but you know they do, and you try to send these self pitying thoughts off.
It seems so short time ago they had been crying when you left the house merely to go food shopping with them, or the years that they came running crying mother mommy, laughing at you, with you and wanted to share what they saw, felt and heard with you. Suddenly it’s all gone!
What is happening?
Those feelings of belonging with them, being a part of these and they being an all day component of you. Gone. – Of course you know that they have their own lives to live, but it seems like it’s too soon! You’re yelling and need them back! Gradually they’ve been the late teens or older who sometimes come home, first thing go to the refrigerator to get the goodies – and crying: Mom, where’s the ham, the hamburgers, the ice-cream if they can not find it.
And their washing and ironing and cleaning has become your privilege to perform as the empty nest mother – occasionally they remind you but it becomes more and more rarely. You may even still support them efficiently. Their father or your spouse is starting to get really irritated as you’ve got those feelings – that he feels offended – and you do not understand why! These children have been your life for so long, he must understand that!