So many people – men and women alike – we have steeped ourselves in myths about how we are supposed to create our perfect work. Myths that climbed up from our manly Western civilization. But for girls, this only manly way isn’t always effective. In actuality, it can be exactly the opposite.
Following this “conventional” approach often makes us miserable, leads to burnout, and might even be damaging our relationships. Here are three ways to begin debunking the myths and creating what you want, the female way. Don’t “Just Do It”. If it were as simple as a Nike tagline, you’d have done it by now. The truth is that our connection with our work life is complicated.
We’ve got a history that we’re bringing to the job. For instance, I have a customer who came out of a traumatic background, and she selects workplaces are dysfunctional. Until she does some of their internal work to tackle this pattern, it is quite probable that her next job environment will seem similar. While there’s a time and place for taking action, the best action comes from a place of trust and inspiration.
The widespread “Just Do It” belief often leads women to feel shame for not being farther along than they are. Let it go and rather accept where you’re. Action is the formulation that’s more likely to deliver the results you desire. Don’t go into action for the sake of action. Let your actions be motivated! Eat, Pray, Love. As girls, we do best when our chalice is full. We’ve got nothing to give to our work life if our cup isn’t full.
When you have balance in your life – balance that comes from healthy eating, prayer (meditation/yoga/connecting to something greater than yourself), and most of all, love – you link to yourself. Loving yourself is perhaps the most essential part of the formula for producing work you adore. Your connection with work is like building a healthy relationship with a spouse.
When you’ve got a deep love of yourself, you’re nourished rather than having work to fill a hole inside of you. Try filling up yourself with everything you love, then notice what and who you draw from that area. Create a Web of Support. Women thrive when they have a supportive community. We do best when we link arms and watch each other during difficult times. We like to give and get support.
In actuality, we want that net of support to create shining our brightest lighting possible. At the moment, I encourage you to draw a circle with a few lines radiating from it. On each line, write the title of a girl who supports you. I invite you to connect with each of them and think about one thing she can do to help you in creating work you adore. It may be a contact with an organization, a resume review, a brainstorming session. Or it could be psychological support – a reminder of your presents, a fun night out with the women, or being your bookend. Bookending is an easy and effective tool that’s terrific for carrying difficult action. Just tell your friend what you intend to do. Then, as soon as you’ve done it, let her know that also.