How To React Against Adversity?

Closeup of green paper man stopping wooden domino blocks on table against gray background

It’s been a current trend now that households in America are actually facing financial and psychological pressures given the weak economy and the internal turmoil within our authorities to come together to tackle all the significant problems affecting many families now

Leadership

It really comes down to our leadership and their capacity to establish unity in coming together in making the perfect decisions for the sake of our people. Proposed programs for helping families in distress have to be considered, approved and implemented by the two parties which make sense and have a beneficial effect on the financial, housing and job markets.

It’s a recognized sign of the times that lots of men and women are out of work and fighting with their financial responsibilities and are confronting the fact of foreclosure. I’d also welcome the notion of building my own practice but locate preparing tax returns that generally is seasonal doesn’t go far in paying the bills.

Keep in mind

Life is so complex and full of so much stress that at times people lose their sense of safety and find themselves fighting and hoping to put a stop to the pain they’re experiencing. If life means having to cover your mortgage in your 70’s and your unable to get work on your early 50’s, what are the chances you’ll have the ability to cover your mortgage? The irony is because I started transitioning I am quite content now with presenting as a female though I need to restrain myself from wearing women’s clothes in the home as mandated by CPS.

The CPS caseworker, quite insensitive, faked that my wife go to the courts to have a restraining order placed on me after all I’ve been through in the aftermath of calling 911 to have my son admitted to the hospital because he was having severe tantrums and crying how he wants to die and he was fighting me so I did what I had to because I was alone with him and I was exposed and on antidepressants that influenced me and he was crying for support.

I did what any parent would and I had been punished for this by CPS that I felt was an outrage. In his death I actually felt angry and distressed so I called his manager and I called him and I said if you do not permit me to stay in my house so I could look after all I have to like unemployment, disability and my mortgage I’d just give up so he wound up calling 911 and I found myself back at the hospital and was admitted due to the controlling order and how it influenced me.

What is happening?

After talking with my doctor she phoned my wife and the caseworker made a decision to change the controlling order to a refraining order so I could stay in the home and have a relationship with my son. He accused me of wrongdoing and I am fighting it even when I must go to court because if anything I am trying to do my best for my son and I shouldn’t be brought down as a result of ignorance of a CPS caseworker who understands I’m being treated for severe depression originating from a family history of suicide and depression, job loss, financial insecurities and my transgender issues.

In addition, I have an autistic son who fights and has a very low self esteem and feels very isolated and alone. In addition to financial concerns I’ve dealt with a number of personal issues and struggles which over time may affect you in ways in which you become self doubting and no matter how competent you are your self esteem has taken a beating and you begin to develop a poor self image that impacts how successful you become in life. I was always straight laced and very compliant and respectful.

I was also very shy to the point I was afraid to speak with people or be about them through my college years. I was a loner type but I was really responsible and dedicated to my family as a child growing up, to my college work and to athletic endeavors like baseball and cross country. This influenced me in every facet of my life and the hardest part was I never had anyone I could talk to about it. I was quite isolated and lonely and I had parents that were wonderful but had the unhappy struggles with their health which made it quite tough for me to say anything.

Good to know

My mom lived with melancholy her entire life and was in and out of psychiatric hospitals but was unable to deal and eventually she would lose her will because she was 50 when she passed at the hospital. My last recollection of my mother was when I asked her in a gentle but firm voice to squeeze my hands so at least I’d know that she was still with us although she lacked strength and appeared non communicative she’d manage to squeeze my hands which gave me a very small measure of trust though in my heart I felt she would soon lose her struggle.

I recall learning of her death three days later as my sister sat me down to tell me and I just cried like a baby thinking back to this very day my mother held my hand for the last time. It was so awful for all of us. My dad lived for nearly 20 years past our beloved mother which was his only love so that actually influenced him in the years after and he resorted to alcohol and was also suffering from depression and had been treated many times in hospitals and treatment centres and at the end he could no longer endure his pain so he sadly seemed to have been under the influence of alcohol or extremely depressed when on April 16, 2009 that he was hit by a speeding train down the block from my sister’s house dying immediately.

I knew I was different as a child struggling with my sex like I was always envying the women and the pretty dresses they wore and I felt I should be dressing and living as a woman too and it was a significant conflict with me since age 4 years old. I was very secretive and painfully shy so I had no one to speak to or seek assistance from. I felt alone and needed to deal with this massive burden all on my own. Nobody truly can understand this sort of pain but I will tell you it is quite painful and very tricky to manage especially when you’ve got no support system and the notion of suicide has crossed my mind on many occasions including my adolescent years and especially when I had to suffer through male puberty that was a really painful and emotional time for me since I had been hoping to grow as a woman like those I had been going to school with and I just cried because I knew I was destined with a lifetime as a man even though I knew in my head, heart and soul I was anything but a boy.

Conclusion

I was a woman who felt betrayed by nature and I was devastated and I remember one time in 16 when I went to sleep with a dress I loved that I bought on my own out of the money I saved in my paper route and just felt so natural and comfortable. I just knew I was quite feminine and needed to hopefully find a way to transition to become female not really understanding when, how or if it would ever occur. I want to appear back on my life with pride and a feeling I was very loyal and protective of my loved ones, my life had a genuine purpose, I made a positive influence in my son’s life and made at least one person feel good about them self including my wife and son, of knowing my son will be OK and ready to live a lifetime and have the ability to locate his way and do something positive with his life.