As women, we sometimes take on way too much. As the fortieth thing we needed to do now slips off our radar because of time constraints, the small voice inside tells us that we have essentially wasted our day. We’re no closer to that magic objective of whatever is our zen, whatever is that thing which makes us human and not only a mother, a wife, girlfriend, sister or daughter to somebody.
As we stack all sorts of unrealistic expectations up like plates of dirty dishes, we’re resigned to failure because happiness isn’t achieved in smallish tasks which have to be carried out. And now, I find my shinning example of somebody who’s really happy and does not do this to themselves. Today, I went to a fabulous woman’s house. She’s a little two year old. It was an extraordinary party. Though I admit to being the only person not connected, it was also a fantastic time to be a fly on the wall to see what I saw.
There’s something about this girl that radiates positive joy and really, I don’t get where she gets her energy. In the shortest period possible, she switched from party hostess, mother of the birthday boy, back to educational speaker on all subjects, then into a karoake singer and eventually into a pool playing buddy with dreams and goals like anybody. Heather (name changed) does not devote any more time on things that she does not like to do. Her whole house is top to bottom exactly what she needs to do, not what she must do. I’m not saying the cleaning is failed, only that by having an entertainment room with a karoake machine, air hockey and a pool table, she’s exactly where she is.
She committed only enough time to being a party host as to make people comfortable. She played with the proud mother of the birthday boy during but obviously played the role of daughter, sister, friend and spouse throughout. In terms of karoake singing, that girl with the mike is dynamite. She enjoyed her whole day and happiness came consequently. I spent some time talking about what she wanted to do with her life and she knows exactly. Being on the mommy track has not changed a minute of thought on that issue. A singer? Nope, you would be wrong. She needs to be a family counsellor and the level in Psychology will undoubtedly come in handy but not at the cost of placing her son in daycare and getting their fulltime.
If you are going to invest 99.5 percent of your day doing things that you find disagreeable but need to get done, you are going to be miserable. If you divide your day into periods of work, energy and rest, you’re goal setting and working toward a future of happiness. Even by dividing your years to everything you expect from them, you’ll be infinitely happier. Here are a few practical suggestions to reorienting your world back to where you’re important too. First of all, throw the magical list and write another one.
Where do I need to be in ten years? If it is not cleaning the house, taking your kids to piano lessons, then where can it be? What makes you happy? If it is possible to be a mother and a worker but have only 1 thing that’s all yours, what is it? If you wish to be all things to all people, you fail but in the event that you’re able to specifically pick out a few things that you would like to be to the people around you, then you are on your way. Getting what you want is really a moniker for understanding what you would like. Goal setting is the action necessary to get there.
What to do?
Sitting down with a list is terrific. Where do I need to be in five years? Where do I need to be in ten years? Where do I need to be next year? Where do I need to be this week? What are my abilities? What do I want to improve? What do I appreciate about what skills I have? Where do I go from here? How do I eliminate clutter from my life? Do I ask for assistance? Do I redesign my entire life around a new job? I’d rather do this than sleeping.
I’d rather do this than my present job. Answering all these questions and writing a letter to yourself with measures to get where you need to go would matter. Be extra religious and hide it behind your favorite picture of your self. And more importantly, unclutter your life and concentrate on what you need to do with your life. Find your zen. Find your ability to get what you want by placing these goals now.