Women I talk to and trainer have asked me what I believe the key to satisfaction is and my response is always the same, “self-love”. When I’m in a playful mood sometimes I say chocolate coated caramel with a hint of sea salt, but allow me to stay on subject here. It’s during these talks I can often look to a woman’s eyes and literally see her energy change when she hears me prioritize self-love over everything else.
It’s like somewhere along the way self-love got lost in translation. Women are trained from girlhood to be external expressives of nurturing and caretaking. Name one of the seven and billion people living on the planet today who did not get their start from a girl. And this is not to say men are not invested caretakers and nurturers, many are, but they do not tend to lose themselves in the function.
It’s more difficult for women to turn off the “them, never mind me” tape which may bogard our head area. We can even go so far as to find worth in the amount of times per day we hear our name called with regard to “needs” we have the power, influence, and experience to meet. It feels really great to be depended on. That is, until it does not.
So what about recovery? The natural effects of sleep are stalemated for people who always bed down making mental note of the dreaded “undones” while nevertheless pledging commitment to the future “fires” that will beg for attention. Listen, exhaustion isn’t your calling. Neither is saviorhood. And when tiny snatches of bitterness have started to creep in through the cracks of the worn wonder woman emblem in your torso, then that isn’t just more proof that you aren’t a savior, it is evidence that you want a savior.
Allow self-love to come to your rescue. You can not get blood from a turnip. If all you’ve got is $10 and I request for $10.10, you do not have enough. You may set your sights toward begging it, borrowing it, or turning a two minute constant cartwheel to earn the other dime however, right now, you do not have enough.
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The exact same goes with attempting to do all that loving, nurturing, and being there for everyone else without a training in place for creating and demonstrating love for yourself from yourself. It’s really not news. Everybody knows it’s not possible to give away something that you don’t already have. It’s called fraud in many circles, but in regards to girls and our need to fulfill needs, we behave like we have a pardon from someplace.
And so, what does this self-love look like, anyhow? Has it got anything to do with maintaining personal stashes of the chocolate? What about weekly bubble baths? Or owning a German car? What about coveting our own set of”real” red bottom shoes? The area of marketing and advertising would like us to think it will, but I strongly disagree. Self-love is all about emotional freedom. It isn’t needing acknowledgement from others about what a necessary and amazing contribution you are to the world, but being secure in your knowledge of your worth whether”they” toot your horn in party or not.
It’s about having the ability to appreciate and observe yourself. It’s about deeming yourself interesting enough to explore the profound knowings of that feeds your spirit, then valuing yourself enough to let them in your life. It’s being aware of what actions make you feel amazing and warm, then giving yourself permission to indicate as many occasions as possible by doing whatever they are.
- Self-love is listening to and honoring your heart desires, abilities, and gifts. It’s taking the time to discover everything you want to learn so that you stay truly interested and invested in this thing you have living known as your life. It’s trusting your instinct is honorable and valuable enough to follow to the relationships and experiences that just might grad you to the joy of take-your-breath belly laughs.
- Self-love is all about acceptance of where you are right now and an unwavering unconditional regard for who you are at all times. It’s fingering the folds of your belly fat and enjoying it for being there with no judgment and gently reminding you that, once you’re ready, you can ( and will) let it go.
- Self-love is a potent self-reflection that radiates in your life like an attentive discerning body guard. For those who have it, any individual, place, or thing not serving your highest good should relinquish its power and right to maintain the distance.