In most areas of the world, having kids is an integral element in a family so much so that some folks attribute success in marriage to the creation of children. Lately, many families struggle to have their own children by natural means. Thanks to technology which has given hope of getting babies to families through scientific processes such as In vitro Fertilization (IVF) treatment and surrogacy.
I had a conversation sometime back with my childhood friend that has been married for five decades and yet to have any child. My buddy is approaching forty years old and I understand how desperate she and her husband want to have their own kids. She explained that she was regretting the abortion she had only 1 year before she met her husband.
When I asked her why she didn’t keep the pregnancy and have the baby, she told me that she disliked the guy enough for marriage, even though the guy was begging her to accept his marriage proposal. She opened me up and told me about her past. I was amazed to hear my friend talk so openly about her previous relationships. I had thought that ladies keep their previous relationships secret especially if they’re married. She explained that suitors began coming to her for marriage from her first year in the university. These suitors would normally come to her parents to announce their intention.
For the majority of these suitors, she refused to see them as union wasn’t in her record for consideration. She remembered to me a number of her suitors which were actually admirable concerning appearances and career profile. One of these was a young man from her village, who at the time was a lecturer in a university in the USA. The guy came back in the USA to seek her approval of his marriage proposal. He promised he would sponsor the rest of her schooling and take her to live with him in the USA, following their union. My friend said she had been attracted to the young man because of his gentleness as he was also soft-spoken.
Up till now, she can’t explain why she refused the proposal. I could make from the tone in her voice and her cloudy eyes that she had been regretting not accepting the suggestion. After college and working, she remembered to me a connection she had which she explained was the next best after her very first boyfriend in existence. She remembered how the man treated her like and angel and was there for her. She explained she could fall into a really deep sleep lying on the guy’s chest.
She narrated how they lied on bed all day watching movies and chatting and wondered how quickly the afternoon went by. I couldn’t help but ask why she didn’t marry the guy. Was it that the guy didn’t wish to marry you? I asked. She said the guy wanted to marry her and had introduced her to each member of his loved ones. The only reason she didn’t take to marry him was cultural gap between them, she explained. Cultural difference to me is secondary if two people are in love’, I remarked.
My friend agreed with me but said that was not her thinking at the moment. Today, after many years my friend is married to a man she met only briefly before marriage and they’re attempting to get their own children. I hope and pray that my buddy enjoys her marriage since it’s possible for her head to keep flashing back into her past relationships and remind her of the great old days. After my lengthy discussion with my friend, I thought for several days why she’s currently having trouble having her own kids even though she told me of the abortion she had one year prior to her marriage. Is it that the abortion damaged something within her? I understand the hospital where she completed the abortion. It’s among the very best in the city. Why then is the problem in getting babies? This question caused me to do some research and reading on what might be a problem in getting children naturally.
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In my study, I observed that each and every woman was endowed by nature with the capacity to conceive and bear children. The natural look for a female to push the baby by series of muscle contractions is a very painful procedure referred to as’labour’. Due to this painful process, nature has set an age limit to the girls that could withstand the pain. Therefore, we have to play by the character’s principles if we have to have babies naturally. Age, therefore is a vital element.
Childbirth labor’ is a phrase commonly used to express the pain that the pregnant women undergo before child delivery. This’labour pain’ is generally excruciating and the intensity varies among different women. Because of this, nature has shielded the elderly girls from experiencing through this pain by narrowing their odds of getting pregnant. Science has shown that each and every woman is born with all the eggs she would release during her lifetime.
Changes in the woman’s body would cause an egg to be released about once a month from the time the girl is about twelve years old. If the egg becomes fertilized after being discharged, pregnancy effects. Otherwise, the egg de-materializes and is discharged from the body. This implies that by the time a woman is thirty years, she should have published about 216 eggs, which equates to the amount of pregnancy possibilities.
A woman’s egg shop deplete with increasing age because there’s not any substitute for the published ones. The quality of the egg also depreciate with increasing age resulting in decreased chances of pregnancy. It’s thought that a woman is more likely to become pregnant before age thirty and it becomes increasingly tricky. I’ve observed from my study that age is a crucial element in conceiving.
I feel that my friend wouldn’t be in the current condition if she’d realized that her age was counting against her. Had she realized the various opportunities that came her way, her kids would have been born by now. Today, at nearly forty years, she’s still hoping to get her babies. It’s highly advisable that girls who hope to have kids do so until they are thirty years old. In my search for answers, I noticed that some girls do not provide the age variable any consideration whatsoever. Over time, I’ve had discussions with a few women, between 18 and 26 years, on matters relating to marriage and having kids. I feel amazed in the thinking of some of those women.
A girl said that she wasn’t ready considering marriage until she’s about forty years old. At that age, she said she’d have had enough fun and prepared to look at a guy for keeps. All the women I spoke with agreed that they have had many suitors coming to them but they weren’t ready for commitment. Some of the women said they would love to have their kids until they turn 25 years. Some of the women were confused on making the ideal selection of a man. I discovered that most women, before age 25 years, have experienced many guys seriously searching for their hands in marriage.
At this stage in a woman’s life, they’re scared to date anyone who’s seriously speaking to them about union. The girls would rather have a connection that had’no strings attached’. All that matters to them at this stage is getting fun. With this much fun before them, the women would like to experiment and exploit life. Emotions are released to relationships that finally end with some kind of heart-break. This process in a woman’s life happens at the prime of her womanhood and requires a few years from the woman’s life. The amount of years varies from person to person.
Finally, a woman decides to settle down with a guy with the expectation of spending the remainder of her life with him. If a woman continues with a guy with whom she’s spent the prime of her life; this is extremely good and commendable. However, this isn’t normally the case. It so happens that a woman would’settle-down’ using another man. In cases like this, the girl has given her prime womanhood to another guy just like another woman has given hers to the guy she wishes to marry. Well, it is time to settle down to both the guy and the woman and raise a family.
For people who do this a bit later than mandatory, the reality sets it. The kid won’t come. It’s my suggestion that any woman who might want to have a family, to exploit the opportunities that come in her prime womanhood by choosing from the variety of men needing to marry her, the one which best suits her wants. This very important decision comes one step too late for a fantastic number of girls. They delay to adopt this opportunity believing it will always be there awaiting them: but they’re incorrect. There’s a time in a woman’s life once the number of men needing her reaches a climax and starts a downward descent after there. Many of the women I have discussed with are engrossed with doing’their own things’ they fell to provide attention to the guys seeking after their devotion in this vital period. I feel that for a few of the women, they let their guy slip out of their hands because of negligence. It so happens that if a girl thinks she’s’prepared to settle-down,’ after becoming bored or tired of’doing her own thing’, the guys who were previously needing her, were all gone and no more there.
Desperation into settle-down with a man slowly sets in and the woman is probably to generate a wrong option. At this stage in a woman’s life, it becomes much more challenging to have a baby because of her age. Every woman must realize that age is vital in a her life with respect to conceiving and having her own baby. She has to learn and understand the principle of character and play by the rules. For those people who are keen to have kids, they need to specify a target age at which to have their kids; but remember to place this era based on the rule of nature.