You Don’t Have to Break Down, When You Break Up! Not many people would argue with the fact that creating successful relationships is often among the biggest challenges we face as human beings. The odd thing is that life can become even more challenging when they end. But is it really necessary to break down when you break up?
Below are three simple suggestions that will help direct you to re-build your life all on your own.
- Become firmly grounded in the present moment. If you end up on the opposite side of a connection, it’s crucial that you have a deep awareness of what you are feeling in the present moment. Continually check in with yourself. Notice what is happening with you if you’re experiencing emotional upset. Your body is always in the present, but where’s your mind? It might be very tempting for you to delve into your past replaying events over and over again in your head. The truth is, you can not change your past, so attempting to do so is futile. Just accept everything as it is. Find peace around the notion that both of you were working to the best of your ability, given the conditions, at any moment in time. Equally futile is casting your head to the future, wondering what life might have, could have, should have been like had you stayed with your spouse. The fact remains that your future will look somewhat different to what you might have previously anticipated. Do your best to take it. If you manage to remain in the present moment, the majority of the pain you may experience will be growing pains. You’re changing from one state of being into another. It’s not going to be easy. Whether your new state of being is a great one mainly comes down to the choices you make. If you take responsibility for where you are right now you will gradually start to see you life unfold as it should.
- Breaking up with someone is a creative and a destructive procedure. It was Pablo Picasso that said that’every act of production is necessarily an act of destruction’. Whether you like it or not, breaking up with boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife is a creative process as much as it’s a destructive procedure. What you are actually doing is deconstructing your life with your spouse and re-creating your life where your spouse takes on a different role to the one they had previously. In extreme circumstances, you might even decide that your spouse will not have a future role in your life. This innovative process can be tumultuous and it can also be hugely enjoyable and exciting. What you have is an chance to start over. If it feels right for you, completely immerse yourself in the creative process. Take the opportunity to try as many new items as you possibly can. You might well familiarize yourself with what you’re capable of doing by yourself.
- Allow yourself to regenerate. If you’re going through a breakup allow yourself plenty of time to regenerate. Focus on the things which you can control. Make certain that you exercise regularly, eat properly and get enough rest. Read, spend time with family and close friends and spend loads of time in nature. Take things slowly, care for yourself and make the space and time in your life required to allow yourself to begin growing again. Whether your break-up was hard fought or amicable, extending compassion to a old friend will help you immensely in the healing procedure. Remember that you’re both superbly human, doing the best you can to navigate through this world.