Sind Sie besorgt über das Stillen?

Eine junge Mutter stillt ihr Baby in einem Wald

After I had my first baby, I had been excited to join a mothers group to share advice and stories, watch my child socialize and play, and possibly make some mommy friends. So what table was I ready to sit? Feeling worried about breastfeeding and wanting to share my experiences of long nights along with my son and trying to handle cloth diapers to save a few bucks, I reluctantly picked the group entitled, attachment parenting.

Gruppendenken?

Little did I know that I’d be entering a huge pseudo-science, delusion, and, what I afterwards learned, was a psychological phenomenon called groupthink. I must have seen a red flag immediately after reading words such as “anti-vax” and “acupuncture” on some of their bios, but my perception was skewed by my desire to make friends. My initial impression was that the girls seemed lovely -even ordinary. Sure, they were all marsupials using a disturbing hate for scooters, but I didn’t feel shy when I had to breastfeed in public, because one girl whipping her out was a cue for the whole group to follow.

I should have observed the groupthink then. Were all the toddlers and babies on exactly the identical feeding cycle, such as when a group of girls get together and sync with each other’s menstrual cycles? But my time with this group just kept getting weirder. Uh, no, it was a crisis. Uh, at the time I was worried about was having a healthy infant. I wasn’t trying to win a competition with the girl birthing down the hallway. Again, I do not want to risk her life so I can have bragging rights afterwards.

Was bedeutet das?

Natural occasionally means death and that’s just too intense for me. I wondered if’sometimes’ was a fantastic answer? I really had stress whenever there was a birthday to celebrate. Should I ignore my tight budget to purchase an American made, organic product to acquire their haughty acceptance, or simply get a reasonably priced item and black out the’made in China’ label? Yes, I had the gall to secure my child’s immune system by injecting him with a vaccine -a weapon, to defend against a virus whose mission is to weaken his body permanently, torture and scar him, and permanently lay dormant awaiting a cause to harm him afterwards as Shingles.

Nein, ich hatte noch nicht das Rückgrat, das auszusprechen. Damals war ich schockiert über den Tonfall der Dame und verwundert über die plötzliche Stille in den Gesprächen, die noch vor wenigen Minuten um mich herum blühten, und fühlte mich unbehaglich angesichts von zehn Mädchen, die mich entsetzt anstarrten. Ich muss in diesem Moment um mein Leben gerannt sein. Ich fiel in mehr als einer Hinsicht als Sonderling in der dysfunktionalen Gruppe auf. Zunächst einmal ging ich nicht nur in eine normale Arztpraxis (und nicht zu einem Heilpraktiker), sondern ich ging auch regelmäßig (zweimal im Jahr) zu einem normalen Zahnarzt. Diese spezifische Gruppe von Mädchen war völlig erschrocken über Röntgengeräte, zusammen mit Sonogrammen, oder moderne Medizin im Allgemeinen.

Berücksichtigen Sie

I’m not against mid-wives or even home births when security measures are implemented, but one pregnant woman gave me the chills when she insisted that it wasn’t necessary to know whether her unborn child had a disability or medical condition until he had been born. She stated that everything was in god’s hands and she saw no advantage in knowing what state her unborn child was in with a sonogram.

Kein Nutzen?

Was wäre, wenn der Säugling eine lebensbedrohliche Krankheit hätte, wie z. B. eine Omphalozele, bei der die Leber, der Darm oder andere Organe über den Bauch hinauswachsen? Was wäre, wenn es nach der Geburt sofortige und spezialisierte Pflege bräuchte? Was, wenn das Baby im Sterben lag und früh geboren werden musste, um es zu retten? Einige dieser Mädchen waren zu sehr von ihrer "natürlichen" Lebensweise überzeugt, dass sie ihre ungeborenen Kinder in Gefahr brachten, indem sie einen äußerst unkomplizierten Blick in die Gebärmutter ablehnten. Ich bin nicht völlig gegen Homeschooling und verstehe aus erster Hand, dass öffentliche Schulen nicht perfekt sind und, ja, man wird schwierige Lehrer finden und, ja, es gibt Löcher im Programm, aber man wird im Leben schwierige Löcher und Aufseher finden.

I know being concerned about bullies or depressed about being separated from your child during the day -but for crying out loud, you can’t keep your children in a bubble! When I talked about enrolling my son for preschool and looking forward to school, I’d either get a barrage of questions (did you explore the instructor? Can you trust this instructor? Will the faculty be locked when in session?) or a sudden change in subject. One reason that some were awaiting homeschooling (although there weren’t many levels, much less a teacher’s diploma, in the group) was because they needed their own religion intertwined into all facets of learning.

Erinnern Sie sich an

Man kann also feststellen, dass diese Kinder nicht über den Urknall, die Evolution oder das Geschlecht lernen würden. Andere versuchten nur, ihre wertvollen Edelsteine in der großen bösen Welt zu beschützen, was die Qualen des Regellernens beinhaltete. Eigentlich gab es eine unendliche Sammlung von außergewöhnlich strengen Regeln, die hauptsächlich von der Mutter befolgt wurden. In der bunten Brille, die diese Mütter trugen, stand jedoch die Devise, dass man als großartiger Elternteil seinen Kindern den Weg weisen muss. Die Kinder sollten ihren eigenen, natürlichen Weg gehen, ohne dass die Mutter ihnen vorschreibt, was sie zu tun oder wie sie es zu tun haben. So wurde dem Jammern und Schmollen und Wutanfällen häufig nachgegeben.

If a mother was talking to another mother and her child interrupted, yanking her hand, the mother always allowed the child to drag her away. If the kid decided he wanted to go home, the mother went home. If the kid threw a fit in the grocery store, the mother would abandon her cart of food to take his sorry ass home. Basically the child was in control and nearly always won everything. I was given dirty looks if I just took a stern tone with my child. Even time-outs were frowned upon. I wish I was making this up. Interestingly, there was a place where the children could never win: meals.

Schauen wir mal...

Many of these mothers acted like they had eating disorders and were obsessed with calories, fat, sodium, and especially the evils of sugar. I once witnessed a two year old desperately hunt his mom’s cabinets for any scrap of nutrition. When I alerted the mother, who had been in the backyard, the tot was eventually allowed to have a couple of organic, crackers that were fermented. This specific mother later freaked out when her son discovered a non-gluten bag of crackers that she had been saving for herself and ate them. She maintained that he ran wild around the house and was, for all intents and purposes, a typical high-energy child. I’m health-conscious and make most meals from scratch, but what I saw was absurd.

Notiz nehmen

A growing child needs food; they want to fuel their bodies, not eat just enough to barely survive. The treats were always lame. For her daughter’s next birthday party, 1 mom offered fruit and healthy pumpkin muffins. Look, cake shouldn’t be eaten each day, but dammit there’s a time for cake, just because there’s a time to dance, and yes, I’m referencing the film Footloose and believe that whole group could learn a few things by watching it. I had been a non-regular member of the group for just over a year before I couldn’t take the bullshit anymore. I haven’t seen girls so cocky with how they parent and so convinced they have life fully worked out. Who does? I believe most people, particularly parents, are constantly on’experimentation’ style and constantly question themselves and their decisions. It went beyond their assurance to their utter intolerance of others who might not follow their self based life rules.

If you had a c-section, vaccinated, employed formulation, or fed your children non organic food, you failed in life. I did find a few sane moms who secretly confessed they vaccinated their children, were planning on sending them to college and (gasp) indulged in a cheeseburger every so often. I felt ostracized in the discussions many times, but kept going because my son had established several friendships and, for his sake, I went into a few of the play dates, though they were few and far between. I also felt as an undercover investigative reporter and listened, heard, and later discovered that groups, such as the one I had been a short member in, probably helped contribute to the outbreaks of Pertussis in Washington state.

Fazit

Einmal draußen, entdeckte ich, dass ich diese Mädchen, oder besser gesagt, Mädchen wie sie, nicht völlig ausschließen konnte. Im Park, im Zoo und im Supermarkt kam ich oft mit einer Mutter aus der Gegend ins Gespräch, die von den Übeln der Flaschennahrung erzählte, mir die Risiken der Schulmedizin versicherte und, bevor ich etwas sagen konnte, ihr homöopathisches Lieblingsmittel gegen Grippe vorschlug. Mir wurde sofort klar, dass diese Mütter überall sind und ihre Lebensbotschaft verbreiten. Anfangs hatte ich gehofft, dass sie nur eine Anomalie sind - nur eine seltsame, intensive pseudowissenschaftliche Gruppe, auf die ich zufällig gestoßen war, aber ich erkannte bald, dass diese Mädchen, mehr oder weniger, Teil einer wachsenden Bewegung sind.