For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. These were the words I heard my mom tell me on an almost daily basis when I was a kid. She always affirmed me whenever she could.
You see, though my mom was always there to say kind words to me, somebody else I had been dying to hear them from was not: my father. The problems I had with him were two-fold. For one my dad was absent from my life for the most part, which made me feel unwanted, as though he had other places and people he would rather be with.
For two, he never seemed to love the things about me that made me who I was: my creative side which loved to create things and sing, or my loving and caring ways towards individuals, which sort of reinforced his perceived want to be away from me in my thoughts. I felt he needed to change me in some way. He always had a way of letting me know that somebody else was doing better than me, over me that I simply didn’t step up, and it actually damaged my sense of self-esteem.
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Half of me was rational and level headed as it came to how I saw myself in some areas of my life, but the other half, the side that had to do with my respect to men, was quite broken. I wanted so badly to feel as though I made him proud, and since I never seemed to feel that I did, I would later search for that approval from the guys I dated once I became a girl. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how many times that didn’t work.
My story isn’t unique, however. You will find women all around the globe that, for any reason, struggle with not having a healthy sense of self-worth and it affects a lot of their lives, by the choices they make while dating, to the way that they allow people to take care of them, or how they treat themselves.
Maybe you are a woman who’s fighting with low self-esteem and in that case, there are a couple things you need to know.
- Low self-esteem wasn’t created by God. However, that isn’t God’s design for your life because His promises aren’t built on lies. God made you, and He is not in the company of making any crap! He has an amazing plan for you, and in addition, he loves you very much, so much he was willing to send His son Jesus die for you and that is saying a lot!
- Low self-esteem cannot be healed through anything or anyone except God. That’s right, there’s absolutely no man, no quantity of money, focus, achievement, status or anything else in this world that can actually fix what’s broken within you if you’re experiencing low self-esteem. The things of the earth may distract you from the pain for a moment, but only God can permanently fix these wounds. Step one includes us acknowledging God’s sovereign place as the Healer of our hearts and handing our annoyance over to Him. When we concentrate our attention on starting or developing a relationship with the Lord, rather than trying to fill our voids through other meanswe truly set ourselves up for success!
- It’s very important to distance ourselves from these sources of negative self-image. It’s a bit cliché, but the concept that hurt people hurt people is truly true a great deal of times. Those people in your life who might be telling you that you are not worth much might be feeling that way about themselves on the inside and they superimpose their negativity on you.
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Sometimes they do it on purpose and sometimes they do it because that is the only way they know how to relate to you, maybe someone else did the exact same thing to them. Although it isn’t your location to attempt to”fix” them, it’s important to recognize them for who they are and what they’re bringing to your life currently. You still ought to love and pray for them but realize it is God’s view of you, not theirs that actually matters.